What is "persuasive Listening"?

Persuasive listening—I first heard the term a few years ago having breakfast with a new acquaintance at the National Outreach Convention in San Diego, CA. Over breakfast I described one of the toughest challenges facing an Alpha course: helping leaders and helpers really listen and fight the urge to answer too soon, to resist the desire to be right instead of letting some tension exist that will be used by the Holy Spirit as others in the group share their thoughts. Just then my new friend became an expert to me as he used the term persuasive listening as a possible solution for our challenge.

This colleague became an instant authority because I knew that the paths seekers are taking to faith are different now than just a decade ago. The last few decades seekers tended to listen their way into faith. That meant our role was to talk. Now seekers are talking and observing their way into faith. This means our role is listening—which is hugely persuasive—and living a life in Christ and the Spirit that others can observe in the natural connections of our lives.

Putting these thoughts together in my mind that morning, my friend and began to discuss what we might do to help Alpha Courses with this powerful idea. Enter Lynne Ruhl. Some of you have met her at an Alpha Training event. Her seminar—Persuasive Listening—is in my view the best element we have added to our training events the past few years.

As you get started down the listening path, here is one tip for you, your leaders and your helpers: listening is a quality of being before it is an evangelistic tactic. We must become the kinds of persons who would naturally and routinely listen. This calls for altruistic love, an inner care for others, a curiosity about others and putting others above ourselves. This takes practice—like athletes or dancers who do drills. The drill itself is not part of the sport or dance but it enables and empowers excellence in the sport.

Here is a great drill for becoming a persuasive listener: practice what I call The Golden Triad of Presence: